Eye doctor appointment

So I went to an eye specialist this afternoon about my tearing eyes.  He confirmed what he suspected which is narrowing of the tear ducts from the Taxotere that I am taking.  It was not pleasant to have a blunt needle put in my tear duct and have saline squirted down my throat.  I had to be told several times during the visit not to blot my eyes with a tissue-I wanted to say, "Let me guess-you've never had eyes that constantly water!"  I guess it's bad for watering eyes to blot them dry because it soaks up even more tears and watery eyes are actually caused by dry eyes trying to make more moisture.  I am supposed to try rewetting drops for 6 weeks and see if stopping the chemo (after my final treatment) and the drops help.  If not, I will have a procedure that opens up the tear ducts.  Great...six more weeks of looking like I am crying and like I am really sick when I actually feel quite good.  I really hope it corrects itself because I am tired of all of these procedures!!!!

Feeling better

I am not feeling too bad today.  I am happy to report I made it through this session (knock on wood) without vomiting.  My knees have been achy and my legs were seriously restless last night, but I am still happy to be feeling as good as I am.  Again, it's amazing how relative things become considering just getting through chemo seems like a piece of cake when I don't feel like I am bleeding to death!  I have my eye specialist appointment today at 1:00 pm.  I am very curious to see what he says about my watering eyes.  I will update later today after my appointment. 

Sleep and more sleep

I definitely feel the fatigue today.  I keep thinking that there is no way I can sleep anymore, but then I fall asleep every time I go upstairs.  I must need it!  I am pretty achy through my back and neck, but I have definitely felt worse.  I plan on resting and eating what sounds good for the rest of the weekend.

Blogging on Location-chemo #3!

It's a nasty rainy and gray day outside, so it's not a bad day to sit under a blanket in a recliner all day! I am happy to be doing my 3rd out of 4 chemo treatments today, feeling an end in sight.  My bleeding is almost completely gone and I pray that it continues!  My oncologist called the gynecologist this morning to make sure it was okay in his opinion for me to continue treatment, and it was.  They think that between the D&C and the Zoladex shot that my abnormal bleeding, in theory, should be solved.  I REALLY hope they are right and that my body decides to cooperate. 
I went to a Young Survivors Coalition support group meeting last night and it was very worthwhile.  I think we could have kept talking for days on end.  The meeting was run very well with a great facilitator.  There were about 8 other women there all with different stories and in different stages of treatment.  There is so much to learn from each other.  I am grateful that I decided to try it!

First full day back

I am happy to report I felt great at my first full day back.  Besides my eyes tearing, I have felt quite good the last several days.  I made an appointment with an eye specialist to see if there is anything to be done about my constant eye tearing but it's not until Monday 1/30.  This weekend I was able to go to basketball games, the pinewood derby, visit friends, and even cook and clean like a real mom and wife!  Of course, my next treatment is Thursday, so I am going to enjoy feeling good while I can!

Doing Well and YSC

I am happy to report that I am doing well after my procedure on Monday.  I have had minimal pain and just a little bleeding which is to be expected.  My energy level is back up and I went back to work for half days yesterday.  It is great getting back to a more normal routine after spending the entire last week in doctor's offices and hospitals!  My only complaint right now is that my eyes are tearing again.
Last night I got brave and went to my first Young Survivors Coalition meeting.  YSC is a group of women under 45 who have breast cancer.  It was a learn-to-knit craft meeting which I wasn't very good at, but it was great to meet other women and see people who have come through treatment doing so well.  Next week is the support group meeting, and I look forward to attending.  I think it will be a great resource for me.

Good news & post- procedure update

Great news- I found out that my endometrial biopsy I had done on Thursday came back normal!  That means that my abnormal bleeding was not caused by uterine cancer.  It was unlikely but I am not going to lie- I was worried after my last "there is no way you have breast cancer" statistical anomaly.  God finally put a limit to what he thought I could handle.  I was thinking for a while that maybe he forgot to set one for me!
I had my d&c today at about 2 pm.  The nurse got my IV again on the first try and numbed my forearm with lidocaine first so it was much less painful.  Everyone feels so sorry for me because of the bruises on my left arm from my last chemo IV, my transfusion IV, and my sticks from blood draws.  Ryan said it looks like he beats me!  The procedure went well but I woke up with pretty good cramping and I vomited after my sprite and crackers.  The doctor said he removed a lot of built-up tissue so I am hoping that will really help with the abnormal bleeding.  I came home and took a short nap, had some dinner, and plan on relaxing the rest of the evening.  My pain has been minimal since I have been home and I hope it stays that way!

Feeling like me again

I can't believe the difference in how I am feeling today after my blood transfusion.  The last three days of anemia were worse than any of my surgery or post-chemotherapy days hands down.  It's a good reminder not to let doctors control what they do based on lab tests and numbers alone.  Be your own advocate and be relentless until someone listens to you if that's what it takes to get the care you need.  I am so happy to be feeling better that I am going to send the nurse at the office a thank you card!  :)

One unit down, one to go!

Today has been such a pleasant, peaceful day. The employees have been so caring and helpful.  Ryan joked that the volunteer must be Polish because he keeps bringing us food!  The other good news is that each unit is only going to run over two hours vs. three.  I can't believe the difference in color of my hands after only one unit!  I'm going to look all rosy and pink after both.  I think my mom and mother-in-law would have thrown a fit if they had seen me pre-transfusion! 

On location...again!

I am sitting in a little pre-op room at St. Vincent Carmel Hospital.  My IV was started on the first attempt and my first unit of blood is up and running.  I am so glad to be getting some blood!  I was surprised to hear that each unit runs for three hours.  It's going to be a long day, but I look forward to feeling better.  My bleeding has stayed very slow and I so so so pray that it continues that way over the weekend.  I hate to get all of this blood just to lose it again! 

Gyn appointment

I should have started keeping track of how many hours I have spent waiting in doctor's offices since the start of this ordeal.  I am more than over it today.  I have been bleeding heavily all morning so I am looking forward to hopefully getting some answers.  The Doc said that the heavy bleeding isn't a typical response to chemotherapy, but it would be extremely rare because of my age for my endometrial sample that they took today to be abnormal.  Great-I get to wait for another scary test result.  Fun times.  I feel strongly that since the bleeding started immediately after starting chemo that the two are directly related, but still the last thing I need to worry about.  The doctor scheduled a D&C for me on Monday and while we were talking to the scheduling nurse, the point came up that my hemoglobin was down to 10.4 on Tuesday and I had continued to keep bleeding since.  She said they won't do the surgery with a hemoglobin under 10, so she sent me for a stat CBC.  I wasn't surprised at all that my hemoglobin was down to 8.3-I feel like a piece of crap.  So now I have to go for a blood transfusion for 2 units at 9 am tomorrow.  The hospital scheduling people beat the doctor's office to calling me about the transfusion so I was crying so hard I couldn't give them my insurance information.  When they first called, they said I had to be there at 6:30 am and I just started crying thinking about how I was going to get the boys off to school.  So she called back about 15 minutes later and said she begged the floor to move my transfusion up.  It was very kind.  I dread having to go through any more, but I look forward to feeling better after some blood.  I'll take my computer and blog on location again.

Wednesday 1/11

I made it through the day without any more medical drama, at least so far.  My bleeding was better all day yesterday until 8 pm when it fired back up until midnight.  Thank goodness I am going to see the specialist tomorrow!  I hope he can provide some insight to my bleeding issue.  I guess the Zoladex I received yesterday may take a week or so to kick in and initially it causes hormone levels to rise before they drop.  Hopefully that doesn't throw a monkey wrench in the plans.  I am very curious as to what he is going to tell me.  I pray that it is nothing that will require more testing or doctor's visits!
I had another fill today at the plastic surgeon.  It hardly hurt at all this time and I had another 50 cc added to the expander.  I look forward to these appointments as it helps to envision the light at the end of the tunnel!  Sometime in the spring I should be able to finish my reconstruction with only one more surgery.  It's very exciting.  I found out my sister is running a Dirty Girl race for me in Chicago with other breast cancer survivors.  How awesome is that! 

Can you say "TMI?"

Okay, so here's the too much information part I've been leaving out of my blog.  I've had abnormal uterine bleeding since I started chemo and at several instances it has been scarily heavy.  After several phone calls to the office and a trip to the ER last week, I've been told by several people that chemo can just cause irregular bleeding in some women.  It started again yesterday and at the worst that it's been so I was back at the doctor's office today.  I had lab work drawn which showed I was anemic and very neutropenic (low white blood cell count) and I received a liter of fluids and a shot called Zoladex.  The Zoladex will put me into a medical menopause for 3 months, so please forgive me in advance if a raging @*$#* happens to find her way out.  Talk about a toss-up:  bleeding for weeks straight or hot flashes and mood swings at 34.  God love my poor husband.  The medication is like a little grain of rice implanted under the skin of your abdomen.  I felt like a dog getting microchipped.  And I was referred to another specialist, a gynecologic oncologist this time, due to my bleeding issue.  I think I am going for a record this year.  I have an open invitation to a ophthalmology specialist if my eyes go back to tearing badly again.  (That has let up at least for now!)  I was told not to work in my clinic for the rest of the week due to my risk of infection, so I will be home missing everyone.

Post chemo #2

I haven't blogged since Thursday, so I'll take it day by day.  On Friday, I worked all day and felt pretty decent except for some nausea on and off.  The worst part of the day was spending an hour in the car to have a 10 second shot given to me.  I feel like a marshmallow man again after my treatment between all of the fluids given to me and the steroids I have to take.  I'm not sure what does it, but I always have super rosy cheeks the day after chemo, so people tell me how good I look.  In the evening, my sister and I made an appointment at Foot Euphoria and had Chinese massages.  If you have never been, it's amazing.  It felt so good to do something nice for myself considering all of the poking and prodding I've been through lately.  The funny part of the night was when the woman took my buff off for the scalp massage and said, "oh, sowwy" after not realizing my hair was gone. It felt too good to be embarrassed for long!
Saturday started off pretty well but I ended up pretty achy in the evening through my jaw, neck, and back.  I'm exhausted but mentally I am doing much better just knowing this is par for the course.  The beautiful warm and sunny weather has really helped too!

Blogging on Location

I thought I would bring my computer today to my treatment so I could blog on location during my chemotherapy.  I feel very good today, very happy to be halfway through my treatments after this one.  I was so excited that I was told by my oncologist that I would not have to go through radiation after my chemotherapy, so hopefully an end is in sight!  Everyone is so different how they react to their chemotherapy, but I have read many instances where the second treatment is "the good one" as far as fewer side effects.  I have also heard that subsequent Neulasta shots aren't as bad as the first.  I definitely hope it's true!  I will let you all know over the weekend when the @#%* hits the fan.  Today is already going better considering my IV went in easily on the first attempt.  My aunt also called this morning saying she was bringing a few meals over this afternoon, and I have another one coming on Sunday evening.  I am so thankful!

Happy New Year

Happy new year!  I hope this year brings better health for everyone.  My neighbor made us a delicious meal yesterday with roasted cabbage for good luck in the new year.  I hope it helps!  I was pretty grumpy yesterday and not really in the mood to blog.  My new fabulous side effect from this chemo is watering eyes.  I'm talking constant tears collecting and running down my cheeks if I don't wipe them.  I wanted to rip my eyes out by the end of the day.  It's not a great side effect for your mental state considering it feels like you're crying all of the time!  I will ask my doctor on Thursday if there is anything I can do about it.  I know everyone at work is going to think I am crying all day.  I feel like it's going to age my eyes by years if it keeps up during the remainder of my treatments since that skin under the eyes is so sensitive.  I guess I may have to invest in some good eye cream!